Ants. I fought them off all morning—sugar ants, moisture ants, damn ants, whatever you want to call them—but give them credit for persistent. While thousands (well…maybe a hundred) stuck to my granite counter, the wall and floor where I ended their lives with spray and without regret, once I sat down in the kitchen to relax with a cup of coffee and a book, the survivors appeared one by one to taunt me. And to remind me I hadn’t watched enough HGTV shows before remodeling my kitchen.
I love the FixerUpper-BrotherversusBrother-GoodBones-HomeTown shows with fun, creative people turning derelict homes into welcoming showplaces. (Courtney and Ron, you need to watch Buttetification. Ty and Amy Free are restoring historic homes in Butte, Montana, just up the road a piece from where you live in Missoula!). And all the TV homes I see, have white kitchens and counter tops or shades thereof. Mine does not.
I remodeled our kitchen a couple years ago, before I became addicted to HGTV. After completion, I asked a realtor friend to look at the house and give advice on what other upgrades we should make in the event we might want to sell. His comment on the kitchen, “Cherry cabinets and darker countertops; a throwback to the 70s. And by the way, paint all the walls vanilla.” Thanks, Larry. Not what I wanted to hear, but I consoled myself with I’m the one who lives here, dude, and I. Like. It. Maybe I was a little defensive. After all, it was 2015 and we’d just spent a ton of money to upgrade our home to the 70s.
But I still like it… until I sat down at my kitchen counter to relax and an ant scurried around the corner of my book. He appeared out of nowhere. Really—NOWHERE—because I can’t see ants on my countertop until they’re crawling up my arm or hauling away my coffee cup.
If I’d just started watching HGTV sooner, I might have chosen to whiten my kitchen and these little crumb crunchers wouldn’t have had a chance. Or so I’d like to think. And yes, I do have the phone number of an exterminator.