When the house gets too quiet, I find a way to quell the silence. “Alexa, play music.” Invariably, the small electronic tower sitting on my kitchen counter plays the Elvis station—some of Scott’s favorite music.
He’s been gone since the 3rd of July. Scott left us on the 30th of June, but I couldn’t let go until days later when we were all convinced this was the one time he wouldn’t come back to us. He wanted us to let him go. He was in so much pain even though he couldn’t speak. We knew. And so… we let go.
Taking Scott off life support was the hardest decision any of us have ever had to make. His son Steve and grandson Trent, and my oldest daughter Courtney, not only supported Scott with love through the dying process, they supported me in every way possible. Love filled the room. And tears and sadness and relief.
Even now, it doesn’t seem quite real. Half of our 23 years of marriage (September 6th), Scott’s health has been compromised, but his sense of humor and appreciation of music—never. And his expressions of love and appreciation for me were spoken daily, particularly in the past few years. He used to say, “You didn’t sign up for this.” My reply: “Yes, I did.”
Elvis is singing, “Crying in the Chapel.”